PATHWAYtoHEAVEN; veronicanote

Sunday, July 10, 2005:Where is MY stairway to heaven?

Feel fitter after this week. Some Americans from the army came to our camp for a sort of exchange program. Being wayang, we have to start doing 5 basic exercises n morning run. our brigade commander is super fit and doing 5 BX with him is a torture. 100 push-ups! yucks! n since Army Half Marathon is coming in September, we just started with the training. ran 4kn twice this week. furthermore, we even played frisbee, captain's ball n soccer with e Americans.

Started watching Korean serial, Stairway to heaven. Havent finished yet. felt that it is quite a good show. well, i am a sucker for trashy love stories. but being a Korean serial, the progress of the show is very slow. i.e. 20 seconds can be used tot film the face n expression of the actor/ actress. My goodness! but sometimes the slow-moving scenes are good in building up emotions. in the show, the 2 lead actors fought very hard in their own ways for the girl that they love, even if it is selfish n wrong. felt ashamed. they did so much for the girl that they like but me? Haiz, i feel useless.

Feel emotionally tired and unstable. i am tired. Conflicts happen around me be it in camp or at home. i just hate it even if i am not involve in the conflicts. y cant people live harmoniously? dun get me wrong. i m not blaming anyone here and i ve a lot to learn too. tolerance n sensitivity r 2 virtues that are so diificult to attain. felt sandwiched. felt bitter. hate being the firstborn, hate being smart. so much responsibility is empowered on me. dats wad my dad wants from me. So unfair! he only cares about the goals n what he want but not about my welfare and what I want.

When can i feel happy again? is there someone out there who can help to alleviate my pain? i can think of someone but k i dun n should not expect anything. everything around me is sad now even the Korean serial.

hahhaha

heavenknows

12:16 AM