yesterday jevon left the lion city for paris le. was at the airport terminal 2 and i felt a sense of loss. in exactly a month's time, i will be the one leaving my loved ones.

wad are my feelings at present?

eh. bogged down by settling of stuff i.e air ticket and constant nagging from my dad made me so drained. a portion of my heart goes out to daryl who is taking his prelims now and i have to help him. all these are sooo tiring. furthermore, the boys' brigade dinner is coming soon too.

i feel helpless and lost. because i know there is no much time left, yet i am not able to make full use of the time to meet up with friends before i leave. i want to see them as much as i can, as many times possible. at home, i know i should not be chatting online all the way but talk to my mum. the thought of knowing she will cry pains me. remember in jc1, when i went to Laos for 20days, she cried but luckily not in front of me. when i entered NS, she teared too. hahahhah.... thats y she needs a pail at the airport.

BUT i wanna experience life there too! cant wait to start studying! yes, studying. my brain has been rusty for so long le. and i wanna tour around. heez.

29th september shall be the day.

heavenknows

10:25 AM

i felt so happy today. a long overdue kinda feeling since my camp. have been strangled by tuition, bb dinner and my dad. yes, my dad cos daryl is having his Os this year and me being tasked to make sure he does well. not that i am complaining but somtimes i just feel drained by all the activities. n my dad will show me the face whenever (i mean whenever) i tell him i am going out. that sorta piss me off. hate being the smart firstborn. i m not bragging here but u should know what i mean.

my plan today was to play ultimate frisbee, then go club momo after which to balcony. however, that din surface. haha. 1st. the frisbee was so fun yet tiring. haha. juz so great to let ur hair loose and have fun. and today so many girls went which was quite unusual. haha. and jake, my fribee wasnt lousy today!!!

den we went to chinatown to eat hawker food till 10. no balony, no club momo. hahaha. felt quite bad pang seh the imperial for not going to club momo. that makes me still a clubbing virign. haha. felt great meeting the moe scholars again.

n me went to do my hair again yesterday!!! like the end result. haha. but got people say i look like ah beng... haiz. but when i highlighted my hair, instead of using aluminium foil, the hairdresser used a large condom-like cover on my head.. yes yes, so i became a dickhead. anyway, they poked holes and pulled my hair out of the holes. they are damn painful. gy, were u referrin to this too?? anyway, these 2 guys behind just cant stop laughing by the sight. i mean i wasnt angry at them and i cld not be angry at them cos i was laughing at myself too! haha.

heavenknows

12:35 AM

I had so much fun since last tuesday. last tuesday, the nehru poeple met up at anthony's house to chill and talk cock. haha. i really enjoyed the company of the people and they really made me feel at ease. even though we have only known one another for a month, i will definitely miss the local people when i go over to london. i muz say that the brownies and the almond jelly is damn nice! thanks pris for organising!

then on wed, went to ant house again. this time, all the overseas scholars met up. think anthony was such a sport by opening up his house for 2 consecutive days. muz thank e pple qho bbq stuff for us man. i know xian, astee and keng seng were practically there e whole time. and chonglin was damn funny, kept asking people whether her potato salad was nice. haha. they talked so much about travel plans... and i talked so much about my birthday. tsk tsk. anyway, davina agreed to bake cake for me le. haha. cool! again, it was great company. but i drank alot that night. din know i could hold my liquor so well. haha. we played games. and i think me n bo jing got telepathy man. we were juz damn suay. and people were juz laughing at my face because i get red very easy. n i mean very! gy and gang can vouch for that too. haha.

on fri, went for the imperial orientation camp, sojourn. i had so much fun too. my group was called the green group. i almost pengz when i heard it. and our group cheer was 'reduce, reuse and recycle, go green'. haha. lame i know. haha. the 1st day, the group needed so much time to get used to one another. but after that, we juz had fun... will get to know them better in imperial. finally found one more person applying accomodation exactly the same as me. haha. yeah!

finally received my letter of confirmation le. phew so is my bank account. feel so happy. hahaha...

heavenknows

8:48 PM

I went to the expo hall on saturday morning to buy those 2nd-hand library books. i refused to join in the queue because I thought that when the doors were opened, everyone could go in at the same time. However, i was so wrong! being singaporeans and kiasu is a virtue, there were soooo many people who had reached and i had to join the queue. ( my dad was the kiasu one, forcing out darren n I out of bed haha)

but the sale was a letdown because there were alot of computer books which i would not even bother to touch let alone open them. in the end, i bought quite a no. of novels.

saturday evening, i was at nuss guild hall for philibert's brithday. 1st time i knew of such place in Suntec. philibert booked a ballroom and the buffet dinner was superb. however, the setting looked so much like a wedding dinner juz that the bride was nowhere in sight. and chonglin asked, 'so all 21st birthday parties are like this?' haha. i replied that this is the most grand one of all i had attended.

this afternoon, went to hanabi japanese restaurant for a buffet. my aunt and uncle treated me and jevon for a sumptous lunch. the lunch was oishi. and my aunt told me that the japanese had the lowest no. of heart disease cases each year. cooL!

juz now, went to see zhen hao off. at this time, he is in the airplane flying of to america. and a new chapter of his life has just started. really kudos to his mum, because she din even tear. but zhenhao's brother teared and it was just oh-so-sad.

told my mum when i reached home that she would not be allowed to cry at the airport. she told me she would bring a pail with her. hahaha. suddenly dread for that day to come.

heavenknows

12:43 AM

my dad is raving like a mad dog now... now that he is not working i think the frequency is on the rise. i am no longer the innocent young boy who will just accept the rantings anymore. i can discern right from wrong liao.

hmm... the nus pple seem to be having alot of fun other than the bidding system. my turn will come soon. but so sian imperial is so far away from other london universities. haiz. anyway, on the 8th went out the moe overseas scholars for dinner then wanna watch fireworks. they are nice lah, but being blocked by 2 coconut trees and rushing to go for matt's bdae party din help. i dun reallie appreciate such stuff anyway. den jane started to sing national day songs. haha. so farnie. saw yanting at matt's bdae party. after so long. happy bdae matt!

then went to play frisbee today. felt dumb cos i was the only one wearing slippers. hahaha. forgot to wear shoes lah. haha. i am a slippers person. but it was still ok. always kena niao-ed by anthony cos my catching skill sux. reallie sux man. muz improve before i go over to london man. heard they play alot. n to think i am going to be a physics teacher too. haha. cant evn catch or throw properly. haha. (*n i took physics s too bleah!) hahhaa.
this was so much in contrast than when i was in army. my brigade commander loves to play frisbee and how my platoon will complain and say frisbee is for dogs. yet i am enjoying it now. hahaha.

heavenknows

1:27 AM

moe award presentation was a bang! the skit was cool and luckily the audience liked it and they laughed real loud. phew! all the effort did not go to waste. haha. was talking to a director. felt that what he said made a lot of sense. there are 2 kinds of teachers. either u like the subject a lot or u like the students. if u like the former, u should leave after the bond but if u like the latter, it is good to stay on. which is true, cos the subject level which u teach at sec/ jc level is quite low as compared to the university stuff. for me, i like both and i think i can see myself staying on. haha.

went for the imperial talk last night. the talk wasnt that useful as alot of information i have already known. but talking to the seniors were good. found out alot about maths in imperial. haha. which was also why i went to zhenhao's bdae party late.

sorry zh. haiz. haha. anw HAPPY BDAE! and have fun in america. will try to see u off.

which brings me to my next point. alot of people i know whose birthdays fall on august!!! y ar??? it is my bro's bdae today too. n i know at least 7 peeps whose bdae are in aug. haiz... y is this so? is it because women are generally more fertile in november? or romance singapore kicked off in november and it was so successful. wait 20 years ago, no such thing. hahah. hmm....

heavenknows

11:02 PM

felt acomplished because my dad and i have settled so many stuff in anticipation of me going over to london. latest jobs done: bedsheets bought and bank account opened already ( or in the process of opening). i was so happy to think that only little is left. even my 1 yr allowance has arrived. (which gives me a shock! imagine gambling all the money away.. woohoo) BUT i was so wrong!!

the most important letter that i have been waiting for has not arrived and will not be arriving soon. astee and weiming got theirs last week and i thought i would receive it this week but no i din. so i emailed to them yesterday. to my horror, they told me that they are still waiting for my A level certs. the thing is they din tell me and they are waiting for it and i am waiting for them. imagine if i din send that email and continue to wait for the damn letter. i may even have to study in university of antartica liao. and break bond wif moe to be president of north pole liao lo. irritating!

i shifted some furniture from my aunt's place to my grandpa's house. so long never go to his house liao. when i went there today, memories juz came back. rem the time when my late grandma was still around. she used to dote on me and shield me from my dad's canings. she could cook so much yumilicious food for all of us to eat. i can also remember the days where my whole family can go to grandparents house on sundays to rot; or the sandy playground which is no longer there. those were the days. and even though my grandma has passed away for 6 yrs le, but i have not forgotten her.

will always remember this: when we are born into this world, we all know one day that we will die. yet when someone close to us dies, we feel so sad and suddenly life seems to be meaningless. this is LOVE. love overpowers logic. heart is stronger than the brain.

heavenknows

11:49 PM