duane, thank u for the brownies. very nice. haha. next time bake more la, k? haha.

has been clearing leave since erm.. 2 weeks ago? anyway, sometimes the excitement in camp and the noisy atmosphere of the camp ( esp my platoon!) are really highlights that i ll miss. like u ll not know when some1 will pms and start scolding us. or suddenly, we have to go for some training or some sort. even better, we ll guess every morning how many ugly commanders are not coming to camp. hahha.

staying at home is so different. boring. tired. draining. other than going out whenever i am at home i ll feel suffocated. dun get me wrong, i love my family. but sometimes i juz dun feel appreciated. maybe going to london is a good thing after all. like today, for example my dad and younger brother have stepped on my toes. and i am super pissed. my dad, being himself, ll always have uneasy feeling whenever i am free and ask me to do sai kang. never mind all these. i have never blamed him or anything. but juz now as i was watching tv, my dad went down to wash his car. and when he came up, he scolded me for not volunteering to help him to wash his car. and he caan further say that, "show very nice to watch meh?" like hello? i m free so i can watch! and he said that i am not independent. hullo? this has nothing to do with independence or anything lo. in his eyes, i am juz this imperfect guy who nids his parents. yes, i do need them but i am not totally relying on them lor. majiam say until i am a useless piece of shit.

and i am tasked to help my brother cos it is his Os this year. i gracefully accepted it. BUT sometimes he juz dun care me. take today for example, he can sleep the whole day and eat dinner then start revision at 9 after my raving and shouting at him. i feel so drained and tired.

really tired. i dun need the credits or anything but all i ask for is world peace ( i mean at home) and be viewed as someone and not a machine or a dog. i know i may sound harsh. i know my dad cares for me too but it is juz the action that irritates me. haiz.

anyway, started to hit the books. muz revise my maths and physics before going to uni or else i ll confirm die de. and being a smart alec, i started reading a portion of physics which wasnt in the A level syllabus. it seemed to sink into my head but after awhile, i dun seem to understand at all. ahhahahhaha. hmmm.....

only 3 words........ I HATE PHYSICS.

haha. should have taken pure maths in uni lo. hopefully, physics ll seduce me and get me turn on by september, if not i ll juz remain impotent and so will my results. hahahah

heavenknows

10:24 PM