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Wednesday, September 26, 2007:i am weak.
darius is flying off tmr!

This 16-day-hiatus of blogging. wanted to blog but laziness and things juz caught up! heeez.

people have been asking me about my feelings as to departing Singapore tmr. ehh.. seriously i am immuned le. no feelings whatsoever. my excitement to yr 2 in london is overwrited by my not-so-happy mood recently.

i think i am weak too! back here in singapore for 3 months. i have teared umpteen times. tears of agony and sadness. who says a guy cant tear rite? to me, tears represent how close you are to me. if someone makes me angry or irritated and i am so not close to him then i will use my bitchiness to retaliate. but if someone who is close to me has upset me, there is a high chance that i will tear.

remember in london, I have teared a total of... 1 time!! hahhah.. and i teared in class somemore... hahaha. anw, i feel that i have done and contributed my part during these 3 months more so than that of the past 21 years. i think i may have changed within this period of time bah.

erm.. positive changes? i think it will be that i have become more of a family person. thanks to my dad who is a super family person.. wahhaha.. i think i ll follow my dad's footsteps when i have my own family in terms of this.

but then again, there are times where i felt like trash. take last night for example. it was a wonderful mid-autumn festival, the moon was super round not that i noticed or celebrated too. however, some things happened and my mood just plummeted.

sometimes i really wonder what i am good at. i dont deny that i have academic excellence, one of which i really work hard for. but then again i think thats all i am good at. seriously. i know people say that i am a nice person. guangyi, u thanked me for being myself and allowing you to find out your weaknesses through me. (oh! i take this opportunity to thank you.. u have been a great fren too!! really...) and keng seng, during the moe thingy, u told someone else in defence that i am the nicest guy u have ever known. i was too stunned to react but ya i heard it. thanks for the comment.. hahaha.. my 24hr-every-day buddy! ( ok that sounds gay.. minus 10hr at least for misc stuff like bathing and sleeping... hahhhahha) heez. back to my point, sometimes i am really not that nice de. ya, and i am just not good at anything else...

really thank God for not giving me the smart gene. i will rather be hardworking and a little stupider than smart but lazy and not doing anything.

i also know myself. i am too emotional le. still remembered the days in Laos where Mr Yap cried that night because of us. He was too emotionally attached to us and thats why when he wasnt happy with us, and too angry, he just broke down. i told myself next time when i become a teacher, i cannot be like him. i want to be a good teacher and yet keep the distance away from my students to prevent anyone from getting hurt or the opportunity for any student to cry foul and point fingers at me to say that i sexually harrass him/her. hahhahha.. i think too much ya?

this period of time, i have made sacrifices too. there are some people whom i think i sould meet up with u guys more.. ah boi, ping and janicia! my BB gang!! sorrie lahh... i promise to meet up wif u guys more often next yr k? oh ya, my other army frenz too!!! see? so many! yet my sacrifices always go un-reciprocated and thats wad piss me off.

sorry for the super randomness. i am just writing down what i am thinking at the moment.

but i am really glad cos i dare to say that my relationship with my dad is so much better now as compared to before i went london last yr. now i can even be cheeky with my dad and advise him about my 2 younger brothers not that it helps lah. of course, there are days where i was really really really mad at him.. but 父子没有隔夜愁 。 and for our case, it is really the literal meaning. cos we will be fine only during the following morning. hahaha...

okok.. enough of the emo stuff.

darren has gone to OCS. feel so happy for him... but he suay lahh go to Apha wing. haojun told me that alpha coy is well know to be xiong and they are proud of it. so my bro is in for a hard time.. hahahaha. but he should be fine de lahh... anw jiayou and by the time you commission, it is time for me to come back to singapore too! hahaha.

anw last night's star search was in quarter-final round. i think the competition was quite cock. round 2 was an oral examination to the contestants. and the questions asked how they will react to certain situations if they are celebrities. i think it is quite weird cos the contestants are not even celebrities yet so ask them these questions for wad? but some questions are still ok lahh. then came the acting round. the twist in that round was that there would be 3 minor changes in each show to see how the contestants react and move on in the show. like if the newspaper disappear, how will the contestant react? hahaa... well, it add comic relief and freshness to the show but then think again, these contestants are going to be TV actors in the future not stage actors. if there is something worng with the props, the director will just shout NG wad, why still carry on leh? hahahahha.. this is just my thought lahh.. hahah but the funniest thing happened last year was that the sound of thunders supposed to sound, instead it turned out to be birds chirping. and the actress still went off with in chinese "listen to the sound of thunder!" hahahha...

singaporean drivers are horrible lahh... my dad was caught up in the jam and i was in the car too. the car was in the outermost lane in the expressway. there were 3 motorikes in front and my dad kept a distance from them yet the car kept honking and switching on beam lights. like hello?!? even if we were to move on to the front, the jam is still there! u will still be behind the 3 motorbikes!! well, my car has a p-plate affixed to it. but p-plate means you can bully us meh? also, car got p-plate means that the driver is a p-plater mehz??!? and thats not the best thing yet. the best thing came when my dad finally relented after 5minutes plus by filtering to the middle lane, the car overtook us and the passengers looked at us for quite some time lahh. like wth lor!!! keep your eyes to yourselves lahh... idiots!

oh!! wanted to say about music too! A-Do's album is not out yet but thanks to 933FM, i got to hear his 1st song.. i like the song alot! it is called 差一点. it is about how this gal almost becomes his galfren but due to some reasons they are just not together. also another i like is the other version of Music and Lyrics by Fish Leung and 品冠。well, their song is not as powerful as the original version but this song is too nice to be sung lousily le.. their version has their own taste to it. i like!! hahaha...

thats should be all from singapore 07. wait for my new post in london!! muahhaha...


heavenknows

10:14 PM




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darius
darius tan
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soon-to-be mathematics teacher
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