today is already chu er of new yr. felt these few days were merely juz noraml break n holidays for us. haiz. but i m getting fatter! i think so. the food has always been yummilicious. ever since the reunion dinner, i had always been the 1st to sit down at the dining table but the last few to leave. hahhaa. always feel bloated n very full after that. hahhaha.

felt very wasted. cos my commander gave all of us ang pow. and instead of putting either money or chocolate in them, he went to buy 4D tix and put them in red packets to give us. very original idea i muz say. well, mine was almost 4ooo bucks lo. cos the 1st prize on sat was 6593 but mi ticket was 9365! hmmmppphhhhhh..... feel so pissed. is this considered to be luckier or not so than those numbers which are not even close? hahahah....

other than eating with relatives and collecting ang pows, i practically juz sat down n watched tv. if not juz answer the questions posed by them. hate it when they asked when i finish serving army because they will ask, " ni3 men3 ji3 shi2 chu1 bin1?" like hello? it sounds like when is my funeral going to be held... haiz. their questions are all standard de. like where am i going after that blah blah... i guess in years to come the questions will evolve to have job already not; do u like ur job; got galfren not; married le not; when u all giving birth...... so predictable... hahhaha.

stayed at home like most of the time cos relatives come here to see my grandad. haha. practically rotting at home to play dota, and watch da chang jing. haiz. and i have given up hope on getting more red packets le. hahaha.

but there are a few firsts for this year CNY. like driving home after visiting my maternal side's relatives. wearing bright red underwear on chu yi. hahahha. and last but not least, in camp actually wished my officer happy birthday instead of happie new year! hahaha. all encik fault lo. hu asked him to wish people wrongly den i unknowingly followed him. hmpk.. hahhaha. bleahZ!

heavenknows

11:07 PM

hi to all. 1stly, thank u guys for consoling me. hahha. act, i am quite strong de but juz too pissed to nid to vent out something.

haha. anyway, was in a holiday mood since thursday. hahha. went for a cpr course. it was damn easy. but den hor, went back to camp. at night, i was lying on my bed again with some of my bunkmates sitting at the edge of my bed talking. den i felt very bored, so i said that i had chest pains and breathing difficulties. hahah. these are the signs of symptoms of people going to faint and collapse with heart problems. the next thing i noe, my bunk mates juz pounce on me and wanted to do a mock cpr on me. hahhaa. was almost raped lo. mi goodness! thank goodness they din try to kiss me. heng ar. den hor, since i was already almost raped, i shouted "food in my mouth". hahha. and stupid duane reallie went to take chopsticks to try to stick into my mouth. hahaha. damn funny. but ya i m professional in cpr le! yeah! haha

juz finished cleaning up the house. stupid house damn big. make me sweat like a cow. haiz. and mi screamin at mi 2 bros from morning till now. hahah. reallie grateful to my parents. cos i can see they were reallie tired. my mum has been working as a cashier till 12 plus for the past week and my dad had been fetching her from work and yet had to wake up early for work each morning. reallie touched. opened my fridge that day. was so shocked to see my fridge so full. going to have steamboat later and the food is so much until there was no space left to put ice cubes. damn! e dinner better be good man!

talking about CNY. my favourite new year goody is pineapple tarts. and this year, there are A LOT of tarts at my house sitting at the table top waiting for me to devour them. muahahha. actually, think i ll cherish this year's new year cos i ll not be celebrating for the next 3 years le. no more taking oranges to relatives's houses and wishing them. no more good snacks. no more reunion dinner. no more sms-ing to frenz HAPPIE CNY! and the worst of all, NO MORE HONGBAOS! haiz. my parents will be more disadvantaged next year cos there ll be 1 less source of input for money le. hahhahaa.

anyway, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYBODY OUT THERE! hope that all ur wishes come true, stay healthy always. be rich in all realms that u can think of. ya. all the best!

heavenknows

3:14 PM

if your answer to the following question is no, dun bother to read on for this entry.

AM I A NICE GUY?

thhanks for your support as a fren by saying yes. REALLY!

Remember that night when i was talking to jason n gy. i asked jason to name me my weaknesses. he could not name any. i was so surprised but of cos i noe some of my own weaknesses la! hahah

am i really that nice? so nice until i can be so soft-hearted that i can take blows/hits directed at me? so soft-hearted until i can be seen as a pushover.

i know that i am a sensitive guy, being sensitive to people around me. (sensitive new age guy hahah) however, i am being taken advantage of that. shld i be more hard-hearted and not sensitive? on tuesday, there was this commander who was buffed up both externally and internally in his heart that he lost his tact and offended most of us. he was super not sensitive. shld i be like that and hurt others and not let others to hurt me? i noe i never will.

"if someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer your left one as well" -Bible

Why do i follow this command? haiz.

basically, i am on cold war with this guy frommy bunk cos of some minor issue. i admit i was in the wrong but he was wrong too and he hurt me more. all i demand was an apology.

howver, that did not come.

During the period, this is what i did,

• wrote a letter to him tell him how i felt cos i noe i dun want to cause another racket in bunk but he tore it and claimed he did not read it when he did.
• in card games, i juz played professionally.
• volunteered to help him to book his dental ffi.

n this is what he did,

• in card games, he juz kept aiming me. n it is damn obvious
• say childish things like buying clothes from heartland malls is so unglam
• in dota, he made sure that he was in the same team as me so that i would not aim him cos i am much better than him.
• TODAY, i din wake up for breakfast and luah too. i had IPPT to take so i din have to go. when our commander asked who were still sleeping, he kept saying "darius". what the hell! i would not have been pissed if he said both of our names. it is so obvious that he is aiming me when I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HURT HIM.

what piss me off is he made this whole issue as if l am the one in the wrong and not him.

so back to my question, am i being too nice?

i dunno. rayner n guangyi asked me to try n let it go but i wont. not until he says the 5- letter word. it is so obvious that he selects his frenz and maybe feels that with or without me as a fren has no difference to him.

juz hope that by april 10, will walk on separate ways and our paths will not cross each other. and seriously, FUCK OFF.

to think we noe each other since pri sch. hahahha.

heavenknows

9:20 PM

here, at home on a tues night is a peculiar sight for me cos i was always in camp in such days. juz feel like blogging even though i dun really know what to share with u guys.

the reason as to why i am at home now is because i have dental appointment tmr morning. haha. 1st time in my life in army do i have medical appoinment lo. haiz. and i was on mc on mon too due to infected throat n flu. hhaaha. din go to polyclinic see doctor cos i noe they ll be too niao1 to give me mc de even though it is FREE. in the end went to a private clinic to see. pay $20 to get mc plus today dun need to do any exercises or soc. muahhahahaha.

going to ord le. seriously i dun give a damn about everything le. wad gy said is true, the sight of the camp and the stifling environment juz puts me off. plus the most of the commanders are prone to pms-ing and giving stupid attitudes.

anyway, went to watch A LONG WEEKEND juz now. a very funny M18 show with quite a bit of sexual content. but i was quite disgusted after that. because the show depicts that guys today like to fuck around (literally) and if u are not then u are weird. and for guys who dun and dun ve girlfrens they ll ve mountains n mountains of porn collection. females on the other hand are not spared either. sorry for the crudeness but they are depicted to like to be laid. they are slutty by nature and guys are vultures by nature.

is it wad they call as an 'open society'? if that is the case then i rather the society that i live in be close. i noe that i cant control lives of people around me. dun get me wrong, i am not criticising anybody. people have their own lives. but i feel that the above scenario shld not represent the society as a whole or the majority. my goal is to be a virgin till the wedding night. (dunno whether that is possible) but i dun care whether my future wife is one or not. cos wad done cannot be undone and if i really like her, i will like her for who she is and not be shallow to reject juz because of her past.

haha. dunno y i am toking abt this. anyway, waiting terribly for the CNY to come.

heavenknows

11:49 PM

another 4-day work week this week. damn shiok. plus i got my excuse uniform this whole week. woohoo! skipped soc and the stupid self-defense lesson. 1stly, to chay beng, eh hahhahaahha.... ya la but u still did not do soc too! hahaha. and i carried on to do the torturous PT lesson lor. who says excuse uniform can skip everything de?

during that PT lesson, let me recall wad we did..

70 jumping jacks
20 hands-touching feet-by bending down ex
20 shifting-ur-upper-body-ex
140 half-squats
10 push-ups-n-hold-it-there
20 normal push ups
a stupid ex where we lie on the floor supported by our forearms and hold it there (damn painful) for a LONG LONG TIMe
40 sleeping buddhas n move ur leg up n down ex
at least 50 flutter kicks
lie down totally but shift our heads left, right, up n down for 30 times (damn damn painful)
200 buddha claps
100 times of *green bottles hanging over the wall* where ur whole hands are damn straight.
etc
etc

eh my purpose of writing this is to tell u that even i skipped some stuff i am still not a very chao keng personnel. hahhahaha.

went to chinatown today. wanted to feel the CNY atmosphere to boost up my morale. maybe wad duane says is true. we are too occupied with the CIVILIAN CONVERSION COURSE and juz desire to ord, thats why we juz dun have that hype. but going to chinatown doesnt help. haiz. the decoration is so-so but i like the dogs! damn cute.

in the end bought 2 cds. the kong shi jia one and rene de. then went over to clarke quay to eat then walk walk. n the best thing is when we saw some people flying kites. the kites are not normal ones with strings. they have propellers and are remote-controlled. and the kites have the lights attached to them. the flights of the kites/planes are reallie nice in the night sky. like it when the owners fly them damn high and then let them plummet down. before the kites actually touch the ground, they scoop it up again. damn cool!

then there was this guy who approached us and asked us whether we were interested. yes we were hell interested but i can only say that it is a damn expensive hobby. all the equipment cost around 580-680 bucks. omg! but watching is free! hahhaa. shall go there again to watch..... reallie nice.

watched the channel 8 9oclock show. quite hooked to the show. but saw thursday episode and remembered these lines,

LOVE IS NOT ABOUT POSSESSION OF THE OTHER PARTY. IT IS ABOUT HOPING THAT THE OTHER PARTY BE ALWAYS HAPPY. HOWEVER, ONE CANNOT ESCAPE THE AGONY WHEN HE/SHE SEES THE OTHER PARTY IN A SORRY STATE.

hmm... felt that these lines reallie got meaning. hahaha.

anyway, think i am going to sleep soon. think i am going to have insomnia le. at whatever time i sleep at night, i will still wake up early and then cannot sleep liao. haiz. dunno wad is happening to me. then throughout the whole day, i will feel damn lethargic. haiz.

Ciaoz

heavenknows

12:36 AM

***The Keys to Your Heart***
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/



actually, did the quiz before but i found it bullshit because i dun think there are only 4 categories of answers for each question to everybody in the world. den gy did it and said he agreed very much with it. to prove him wrong i did it again but den was amazed cos this time round felt that i only disagree 1 statement fer now. n that is the one where i am afraid that i ll be confined to a marriage. however, wad gy said is true too. my answer now may not be my answer in time to come. hmmm....

heavenknows

1:47 AM

just came back from the event of the year. or i shld say one of the events of the year.

stefanie is reallie cool! she has that stage presence. the dancers, musicians are all very professional. cool dance steps and nice performance by stefanie. armed with a yellow light stick with courtesy from gy, i reallie enjoyed every moment of the show.

even though there were glitches at the start due to the microphone but to err is human. and the audience dun seem to care too. however, quite sad cos she didnt sing 2 of my favourite songs. hmm.... "wo ye hen xiang ta" (i miss him too) and "yan lei cheng si" (poem penned from tears)

erm.. is my translation accurate? hahahah. dun care. but ya, the crowd is sporty too but i thought can get more high de.

saw FIR n tanya chua live too! heard FIR new song. not bad la but typical fast pace FIR song. anyway, it is 130 bucks well spent, even though my dad gave me that face the whole day. hahahaa.

anyway, before the concert ended, she told us that she read from a book

MAN SHOULD NOT ACCEPT DESTINY BUT CHOOSE IT.

basically it is the same as a prhase i saw juz now over the net too,

IF LIFE GIVES US LEMONS, WE SHOULD MAKE LEMONADES.

hmm... i dun agree wif the statement. God gave us the freedom to choose. n we muz be bold to use the freedom of choice. Adam n Eve chose theirs wrongly, by eating that darn apple but that doesnt mean that all our choices will be wrong.

furthurmore, i dun believe in regretting all the wrong choices made. juz learn from them and move on n choose smarter the next time.

sound profound hor? hahahah. juz kidding.

heavenknows

1:02 AM

Time really fies. but i wanna it to fly even faster for now.

there is this phrase, " there is light at the other side of the tunnel le". actually it means that the end is near. however, the flip side of it is that a train is coming to knock u down, stupid. hahhahaa. i m crapping now.

another short week has past. woohoo! plus i took off today cos i did duty on tuesday. hahaha. rain reallie did come for the whole week. n i didnt do any soc or self-defence course. act, the self-defence session din work out because of the miscommunication of the use of venue. muahahhahaa. but den hor, cannot always depend on rain. muz get my own divine shield soon. will see the doctor later to see what excuse i can get. hhahahhaa.

duane: excuse from physical activity
seth: excuse from physical activity
rayner: sick plus leg problem
gy: soon-to-be excuse from lower limb exercises
lionel: excuse boots n lower limb activity
nicholas: excuse lower limb activity

haiz. mi turn to get something. hmpk! excuse uniform oso shiok! haiz. muz see wad the doctor says later.

i can smell freedom! soon..
anyway, this sat is a sat where i ll never forget. first time watching an expensive concert and seeing my favourite artiste sing live! the concert better be good man. if not i ll stop supporting her n buying her albums le. haha. kidding la.

actually, stephanie sun is the very first singer who brought me into the cheena-songs world. ( kym ng not counted la.. dunno y i bought her album also! hahhha ) still remember, Tian Hei Hei is the very 1st song that i like. hahaa.

can say that i watch her grow up to be a better singer and she watches me grow up from an innocent sec3 boy to a erm.... innocent soon-to-be young adult. hahahha.

heavenknows

10:18 AM

today is company cohesive day at east coast park. quite xian by the whole thing actually. a bunch of guys athe beach playing silly games and talking. however, vj was having the sea sports carnival there too. woohoo!

really remind me of the days when we were the ones in charge of the event where the year 1s have fun at the beach and the whole school doing mass dance together. hahha. those were the days.

so basically today, we being guys juz cant be bothered by our own events but watch the victorians have fun. hahaha. quite a lot of sweet-looking girls and zegui, yes the girls are quite gd looking. hahaha. we can hear the girls screaming and the school cheering but for us we juz play the games and thats it. no hype nothing. hahhaa.

aniwae, because of the rain so the victorians din do the mass dance at the beach. haiz. cant see them, think they are going back to the hall to do it.

after that, my platoon went to duane's house for lunch. jerome n jason's treat, but duane prepared most of the food. reallie grateful to duane cos duane asked each n every one 1 dish that they will like to eat. and i told him i want non-herbal bak kut teh. he act did it for me. and i know it needed a lot of effort de, so ya. hahha. nice bak kut teh. hee.

tmr public holiday and yet i have to go back camp do duty. xian. going to hibernate and sleep the whole day man! these few days are reallie cold and i m afraid of cold. quite scared now cos i dunno i gg to tahan winter in london. haiz. that will not so soon la.

heavenknows

9:25 PM

today is indeed very weird cos of the stupid rain. has been raining the whole day and it sorta dampened my mood. irritating.

juz hope that the rain can continue till CNY. cos in camp i can juz cuddle in bed and not do any stupid things like unarmed combat n soc. am i asking too much? hahhahah.

anyway, went out for lunch with e ct councillors again. all of them are late, AGAIN.. ahhaa. knew they ll be late cos of the rain so i was sorta purposely late too by 15 min, but apparently it is not enough. all of them except marcus were so late. habits die hard la. hahahahaa.

went to fish n co. n today is marcus' bdae so we thought he was going to suffer the same fate as mi bdae last year. but i guess the staff at wheelock place was understaffed so he escaped it. damn!

after that, went to the sleazy ktv pub again. hahaha. it is reallie cheap n the screens are gd. but the environment is scary plus the faces of the china singers/waitresses etc. sorta scared me a little. but still got other decent people like us went there too. i think as long as we go when there is daylight den is ok ba. hahahaa.

gy, duane n rayner next time we go there k? chay beng, can bring u there oso once u come back. hahaha.

tmr going to east coast park for outing wif my camp people, which is equals to waste my time. but at least it is a free day outside in the civilian world. hahaha.

going to sleep le. tmr still nid to wake up early, think i ll go vs for a while in the end. mdm ernie misses me. hahhaa. mi brother says one. oh she was my maths teacher by the way.

heavenknows

12:12 AM

Hip hop dancing is damn fun! juz came back from the first lesson held at seng kang cc. was reminded by the mass dance back in jc.

how can i forget the orientation days when we were frantically learning mass dances? den we would go down to suntec fountain of wealth to dedicate "I WANT U" by savage gardens n dance in front of everybody. can still remember people actually stopping by n watch a handful of vj students (we were in uniform) dancing. hahhaa.

aniwae back to the lesson. think i a bit lose touch le. at first i cant learn the steps properly but luckily by the time we finished learning, i got hold of the steps le. hahaha.

reallie grateful as i can say that if not fer gy, we wld nt have been learning it. have been procrastinating since dunno when. hahhaha.

quite sad yesterday cos by the time we finished shopping for clothes, it was too late for us to go to settlers to play le. haiz. hope can go there soon.

n this is a msg for U NOE WHO U ARE:

I BOUGHT 1 OF MY TOPS AT TOPMAN ORCHARD.


are u happy now?

cant wait to go for stephanie sun's concert leh... 1 more week. haiz.
hurry come!

heavenknows

3:58 PM

went back to camp le. so xian! can only eagerly wait for chinese new yr now.... quite sick of the camp. so when i had the opportunity to take off tmr, juz grabbed it. hahhaa...

this week is damn slack n shiok! hahha. practically did nothing. only sleep, play munchkins. but today finished 1 session of physical training la.

hmm...
50 jumping jacks
50 pushups
100 buddha claps
etc
etc

n this is considered slack le. think next week ll have more n worse exercises. record no. of buddha claps was like 200 plus in thailand. hahah.

going to town tmr to buy my CNY clothes. den go settlers to play again. yeah! quite fun...

" i dun see why u shld buy clothes at heartland malls? not glam n cheap... no taste"

that was a comment of 1 of my bunk mates who i tink was directed at me. cos i went to j8 to look for clothes juz now. i think that comment was damn shallow n if he bloody hell wanna say i got lousy taste juz say. AS IF HE IS GLAM 24/7... phui!

seriously, there are shops in j8 like samuel n kelvin, man studio, people of asia etc.. which can be found in town too. N THE CLOTHES ARE ALL THE SAME. so wad bloody comment was that?

anyway, was supposed to do unarmed combat training today but the rain helped us and it was cancelled. hahaha. well, i hope that next week, rain ll juz come everyday and i ll juz be sleeping in bunk n happily waiting for my pink ic.

heavenknows

10:37 PM

this is a public apology!

hw can i forget the photo cum card that he sent to me? n i act forgot to blog about it...... hmpk! was in a rush to blog mi previous entry... haiz.

anyway, really grateful for that card, gy. thanks a lot. like the card. hahahha. ll cherish it n rem e msg that u wrote for me.

sheesh.......... anyway, ya feel free to scold me tonight when u see me k? but only tonight! hahhahaa....

SORRY GY!

heavenknows

11:26 AM

my bdae is over! now i m a poor little boy with rags on my body. my glass shoe is gone, left with me only a pumpkin. fairy godmother is nowhere in sight. sob.

but it is ok. memories are sweet. juz came back from holland v. damn far! aniwae, the rain is super big! still grateful that i went out wif gy, duane, seth n jason. 1stly, thanks fer the prez. i like the converse shoes. tks! n i dun believe that u all want to lose a fren like mi by giving mi a pair of shoes. i dun believe in such superstition too. hahhaa. aniwae, ya it is reallie nice.

dinner was at mexican restaurant den we went to settlers' to play board games. it is REALLY FUN! muz go again man! cool board games that i ve never played before. hahah. but saw some people playing monopoly, scrabble there. yawns! go dere n play such games?????

tks jason fer the cup of mocha too! hahahaa....

ya, gg back to camp le... all good things muz come to an end. sighz..... aniwae, tmr still gg out wif shijin n jan. long time nvr meet up wif them le.

cant wait fer the time when i can sae all EVIL things muz come to an end. that ll be in april. u noe wad i mean! muahahhahaha.

heavenknows

12:37 AM

"y u write weilin's prez reallie, reallie nice? y u write our prez damn nice only?"

hahaah.... before i get another bout of lashing, muz say that i reallie cherish all ur prez. hahaha. n yes i noe yvonne n pk are late fer the meeting cos of the prez. muz say that the wallet is very, very nice. hahhaha.

juz wanna say thanks to every1 out there again! :P

feel very, very blessed...

heavenknows

11:36 AM

in case u r wondering y am i online so late in the nite at 4am, well, i was in the queue for my computer. hahaha. yvonne n joleen juz finished using the com......

reallie grateful. juz now met the ct councillors plus clare's cousins n sis at my house for steamboat. reallie touched cos they spent the eve wif me cos of mi bdae. very bhb hor? hahhaa.
reallie touched cos weilin came back 1 day earlier from penang juz to make it fer this. n clare, janicia, ah boi n ping din go fer their family's dinner to come. n to think i only know the 3 of them for 3/4 month. hhahaha. and emma came here instaead of celebrating his father's bdae. thank u u all once again. reallie, reallie touched. thanks.

n thank weilin fer ur gift. REALLIE, reallie touched and glad to recieve the photo n photo frame. she muz ve spent a lot of time on it. thanks. something gy ll do oso. haha.

clare, ah boi, jan n ping gave mi a pouch n water bottle. reallie nice. thanks a lot.

den von n pk gave mi a wallet from top man. unique wallet. damn nice.

hee, feel reallie blessed. esp when some people have msg mi to wish mi happie bdae.

pei fang
jingquan
guangyi
n those pple hu came to hse
darren

not forgetting....
RAYNER who msg me from indonesia!!!! reallie din expect to get e msg from u. :P
n ZHENHAO who called me from taiwan!!! ya quite surprised.

aniwae, i feel so can2 kui4. cos a lot of pple rem mi bdae.. mi bdae how easy to remember can? but i dun remember my frenz de. so this year ll be diff. i muz have this habit of giving prez n wishing ple happie bdae, esp when mi frenz are celebrating their 21st bdae le.

20 years old le. i noe some of u all cant stand mi lameness and act-cuteness, but i dun care. hahah. that is so DARIUS! hahaha. but ya i tink that i am still quite mature in thinking. yeah! hahah.

on my way to CIVILIAN CONVERSION COURSE, ord lo. hahhahaa. 2006 is a year where i ll come in a bang! and enjoy!

to all mi frenz out there, lets still keep in contact, k?

cant wait to go out wif my camp mates later in the night. still dunno whose idea is it to go holland v but den again ya ll definitely enjoy myself with them ard. :)

heavenknows

3:53 AM